I’m a complicated individual, there’s not that much to me emotionally or anything I attach my self to that matter. For me to be emotionally attached to an object is beyond even my understanding, I don’t know how it happened but it happened, when a object is attached to you emotionally its called a personal artifact and that object is my salutatorian award. When someone looks at my artifact they will just think of it as a award, sometimes I even look at it just as an award, but I don’t as well if that makes sense. Sometimes I’m an outsider to my own feelings as if they have no attachment to me but they do, lets start from the beginning so you can try to understand what I’m trying to portray.

Off the get go I was faced with a challenge of not being raised by my own mother but by my aunt and uncle; I felt torn between the fact I don’t see my mother as my real mother but as a person I’m related to by blood that’s all. I partly think that is one of my main reasons of feeling cold hearted toward people but that’s a different story, so as life goes on I’m trying to chase a dream that seems impossible from the family I come from. No one in my family even passed middle school, so if I achieved even half of my journey ill be in uncharted territory. Middle school was light work in my opinion but its where I built my character being the “Smart” guy in the family, and once a label is attached to you it makes a difference in how you act so you won’t disappoint the ones who care about you.

During my middle school phase it wasn’t fun like most people, I faced hardships like having to choose who you want to live with. Spoiler alert, I didn’t choose my mom so how you think I felt when I told my own mom I don’t want to be with you as a 13 year old. Not to mention also seeing your dad for the first time in your life at the age of 12 than he leaves again after saying he will come tomorrow to pick me up. I put my trust in my own blood related parents and they don’t own up to their own promises which ends up strengthening my character, as they say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.There’s only one person I can actually say helped me with my journey and its my grandma; giving me the intellectual talks about where I come from and how being a minority is a gift from god and to keep trying no matter how high the hurdle.

I carried my grandmas wisdom all throughout high school not competing with other people but with myself because trying to out-due yourself everyday is the hardest challenge. Junior year is when I put my mind to the real test studying for the SAT’s and doing college now at Lehman while maintaining a 90 gpa in school. The principal was astounded because I wasn’t like all the book smart kids, I was the kid that skipped class to go to the gym but I do all my work on the right time and it meant I was a outlier in the group. When the SAT grades came back I had the 3rd best score in my school with a 1110, in my mind I was confused because in my family you either end up in the streets or just behind bars, so hearing all these good grades my adoptive parents were happy with the future I was creating for myself.

Throughout senior year I got hit with Senioritis like a truck, not going to school early or sometimes not at all. I only went for tests and attendance which the teachers got mad because I lost all my motivation when I was so close to the finish line. When my science teacher Mr.Kim sat down and gave me a real man to man talk about how to leave my delinquency behind and to start taking up responsibility, it made me buckle up for the remaining 5 months and I was back on my grind. My journey of getting my diploma was almost done but I didn’t think I would achieve this dream with high expectations. But my abilities proved me wrong and when I stood on the graduation stage at Monroe giving my speech seeing my family cry from happiness, that someone is finally breaking the chain and moving on to better things was the best feeling in my life, that I’m more than just a regular person on the block but rather someone who won’t let the past determine where he is going to end up.

Having the weight of your whole family on your shoulders may feel like too much at first, but when you finally show them what seemed just as a dream become reality, it’s a good feeling. With what I went through my whole life to finally graduate not just by the minimum but 2nd in my graduation class, all that emotion is In bodied in the award I have. The object which I hold close to my heart is about 6 ½ inches in height, 1-2 lbs, bronze, had a engraving of a cap, book, diploma followed by a quil writing “George Rodriguez BAHS Salutatorian”. I won’t call my self a scholar because I’m not I don’t see myself part of that culture.

The culture I see myself part of is people who want to be the best person they can be; and if having good grades is a cause of it well I wont complain. I’m a outsider to the scholar sub culture this award is meant for, but I’m a insider for the people who just want to chase their dreams. When we say were going to do our best we mean it to our hearts content. Our ritual is keep on trying till we have our dream in our grasp, if we fall we get right back up and retry twice as harder.

The people in my culture is the successful people that doesn’t say no to a challenge but faces it head on. It could be your friend, some stranger, or even you if you keep on with only positivity guiding you to your fullest potential. Awards in general have been as a tribute to great achievement in human history, and in this occasion its my achievement in trying my hardest.

The way I use my artifact is if I’m doing homework or if I’m just feeling like I cant do it anymore I take my award and just look at it, and it brings up memories of me hustling to my goal and reminds me of the type of guy that can overcome his challenges. My object as I said has no cultural background, or tradition connected to it; but I do see it as a family award where as my adoptive parents can also see it as they did a good job raising me to be a man one day that can do anything I put my mind to.

A personal artifact doesn’t mean just a necklace with a cross on it, something from your great grandma passed down, but something that has deep sentimental value to you. If you feel as if an object makes you feel a certain way when you hold it or look at it, it might be a personal artifact. What culture you think your personal artifact makes you part of? Now are you an insider or outsider to that very culture?